This has been edited extensively because it contained words and phrases that I refuse to use.
Dear You Blank-Blank:
When I found out you were writing a blog I knew I had to write. In 2003 I went to a high school class reunion and one of the people who showed up was (name withheld) a tall redheaded nasty nerd. When he first arrived, we couldn’t believe it. Nobody thought he would come because no one in the class liked him. I went to see my old friends, but he didn’t have a friend in the class. He was the most obnoxious person I’ve ever known.
What really surprised us was the way he behaved. He actually treated most of us as if we were his friends, although nothing could be further from the truth. When several people asked him why he was acting as he did he said you had taught him how to be popular and in his new job and where he lived he had lots of friends and was now very popular. He said being popular changed his life but we did not see any change.
He then went on to explain how by teaching him to send popular signals you gave him the ability to charm the world. I know no one believed that but he continue with that charade to the end of the evening, and then thank God he left.
If you have the guts explain how someone who has been obnoxious all of his life can by smiling and pretending to be pleasant can win over the world. Winning over the world is a direct quote from Mr. Obnoxious who wasn’t winning over our world.
We think if you even claim you can make someone like him into a human being, you are a fool or a con man. If you’re not either of these please explain how you work miracles.
Name and Address Withheld for Obvious Reasons
Dear Doubting Thomas:
You will have to understand three things; first I never tried or claimed to change anyone’s personality. Second, I have run across literally hundreds of men and women who before taking my course told me that everyone hated them and they hated everyone. So the world changed them. Third, once I taught them to charm the world they loved almost everyone they met because while the people they met in the past treated them poorly today the same people are their friends and are very nice to them.
As for who I am, my name is John T Molloy and I am the author of best-selling books, most of which were on success and image. I also have had two national radio shows and a nationally syndicated column dealing with the same subjects. My books were bestsellers because they were based on research not my opinion and the advice I gave was accurate and useful.
Which brings us to the subject at hand, you and your friends probably disliked him when you first met, possibly as early as the first grade. You disliked him because of the signals he sent verbally and nonverbally most of which he’d been sending since he was two or three. At that age the majority of us imitate facial expressions and body language of those we love and admire at the time. We may copy our parents, a good friend, a neighbor, a playmate or an acquaintance we like or admire. If that person is popular we may become popular as well but as often as not we learn to imitate signals that turn off others. Which means that being popular is largely a product of our environment and chance.
The first bestseller I wrote was “Dress for Success.” After it was published I was hired by corporations to dress their sales people in hopes of making them more effective. Once I started I discovered that buyers were more likely to purchase products and services from people they liked.
In an attempt to discover which salespeople were successful and why we set up cameras in buyer’s offices and sent salespeople from companies we represented and sometimes trained into those offices. After we taped them, we had the buyers look at the videotapes and tell us why they bought from salesperson A and not B. We improved on this when we put switches under the buyer’s desks and asked them to push them one way when they received a positive message and the other way when they got a negative one. As a result of this research we changed the way salespeople approached and interacted with buyers and sales increased.
Because our initial research worked, we then were asked to teach salespeople who spent their days in clients offices to charm the people they work with every day. Once we succeeded at that we were asked to train executives but since they often sold in social settings that required new research. This research gave us the ability to train almost anyone to be popular in a social setting which I will be doing in my new book on popularity. I’ll be publishing it shortly.
If you would like to receive preferential treatment from almost everyone you meet I suggest you purchase my popularity book. It will also answer your questions more completely and explain why that tall, nerdy redhead might be really be a nice fellow.